Authentic Self Help

At first glance, it would seem that healthy thinking and Attention Deficit
Disorder (known as ADD) have nothing to do with one another. But many
people with ADD develop unhealthy thinking patterns because they become
frustrated by their challenges and frequent feelings of being overwhelmed.
This
negative outlook then makes it even harder for them to manage those
challenges and move forward.

In the opposite direction, practicing healthy thinking allows people with
ADD to focus on their strengths and on their accomplishments, which
enhances their attitude and motivation. This, in turn, allows them to
spend more time making progress, and less time feeling down and stuck.

Well, guess what? This is true for all of us, whether we have ADD or not.
If we nurture stinking thinking, we develop stinking attitudes, we make
stinking decisons, and behave in equally smelly ways. And a great deal of
the time this unhealthy attitude turns into our very own, highly
customized, super deluxe mud puddle that we choose to sit in while hope of
ever getting out evaporates with each passing day. We have fallen into
that puddle and we just can't get up.

I am reminded of my daughters, when they were very small and ate meals
from highchairs. Sometimes they would get upset over seemingly nothing and
begin to cry uncontrollably making it impossible to feed them any
nourishment, much less even getting their attention. Eventually, I figured
out that if I would surprise them with a silly little noise or surprise
them with a stuffed animal in the hand that wasn't holding the spoon, that
they would stop crying and re-focus on the noise or the stuffed animal in
my hand. They would absolutely forget about being upset and continue on
with their meal. Amazing!

You may be snickering or smirking hearing this, but you're really not any
different. You get stuck in your unhealthy thinking habits and begin
obsessing on them just like my girls did. People try to get your attention
and they try to encourage you, but you're so focused on your stinking
thoughts that you just drift off into the "mud puddle zone". Like my
daughters, and now my grandchildren, you need to be nudged or sometimes
even startled to begin to change your focus towards a healthier direction.

The following 10 tips provide practical suggestions that you can use to
help jolt you into healthier thinking patterns:

1. TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF.....
It's so much easier to have a healthier perspective when you are eating
well, exercising, and getting enough rest. It's just plain common sense.

2. REMIND YOURSELF WHAT YOU'RE THANKFUL FOR.....
Stress and challenges don't seem quite as bad when you are reminded of the
things that are right in your life. Taking a little time each day to stop
and appreciate the good things in your life will make a huge difference in
your attitude.

3. BE CAUTIOUS ABOUT MAKING BLIND ASSUMPTIONS.....
A fear of not being liked or not being accepted sometimes leads us to
assume that we know what others are thinking, we think we're mind readers,
but our fears are usually not reality. If you have a fear that a friend or
family member's bad mood is due to something you did, or that your
co-workers are secretly
gossiping about you when you turn your back, speak up and ask them. Don't
waste time worrying that you did something wrong unless you have a good
reason that there is something to worry about.

4. REFRAIN FROM USING ABSOLUTES OR EXTREMES.....
Have you ever told a someone "You're ALWAYS late!" or complained to a
friend "You NEVER call me!"? Thinking and speaking in terms like 'always'
and 'never' makes the situation seem worse than it actually is, and it
programs your brain into believing that certain people will never be able
to meet up to your standards.

5. DETACH YOURSELF FROM UNHEALTHY THOUGHTS.....
Your thoughts can't hold any power over you unless you give them
permission to do so. If you notice yourself having an unhealthy thought,
acknowledge it, expose it, and please don't buy into it.

6. SQUASH THE "A.N.T.s".....
In his book "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life," Dr. Daniel Amen talks
about "ANTs" - Automatic Negative Thoughts. These are the bad thoughts
that are usually reactionary or knoee-jerk, like "Those people are
laughing, they must be talking about me," or "The boss wants to see me? It
must be bad!" When you notice thoughts like these, realize that they are
nothing more than ANTs and squash them under your symbolic foot!

7. PRACTICE LOVIN', TOUCHIN', & SQUEEZIN'.....
You don't have to be an expert to know the benefits of a good hug.
Positive physical contact with friends, loved ones, and even pets, is an
instant pick-me-up. One research study on this subject had a waitress
touch some of her customers on the arm as she handed them their checks.
She received
much higher tips from these customers than from the ones she didn't touch
at all!

8. INCREASE YOUR SOCIAL ACTIVITY.....
By increasing social activity, you decrease loneliness. Be intentional and
surround yourself with healthy, happy people, and their positive demeanor
will affect you in many positive ways!

9. VOLUNTEER TO HELP SOMEONE ELSE.....
Everyone feels good after helping others. So volunteer your time, your
money, and your resources. The more positive actions you sow into people's
lives, the more you will reap in return.

10. USE PATTERN INTERRUPTIONS TO COMBAT OBSESSION.....
If you find yourself obsessing on something, a great way to stop it is to
interrupt that pattern and force yourself to do something completely
different. Obsession is like hyper-focus on something negative. It's never
productive, because it's not rational or and it's not solution-oriented,
it's just excessive
worry. Try changing your physical environment by going for a walk or
sitting outside. You could also call a friend on the phone, pick up a
book, or turn on some great music.

There is an often-quoted verse in the Biblical Book of Proverbs that says,
"As A Man Thinketh, So Is He". In other words, you are who you think you
are, you accomplish what you think you can accomplish. I like to say it
like this, "What you believe is how you perceive". Dr. Paul Carlin, the
founder of Belief
Therapy, simply puts it this way, "People do what they do because they
believe what they believe".

So unhealthy thinking is basically a direct result of unhealthy believing.
If we believe something is true, whether it actually is or not is really
not as important as the fact that we believe it to be true. Therefore, our
unhealthy, repetitive thinking patterns eventually can deceive us into
believing things are true that are literally lies. Change your thinking,
my friends, and powerfully change your life and the lives of those around
you. It's your choice. It's your decision. But it will definitely
determine the quality of your life.

Use these "10 Ways to Start Taking Control" to start taking control of
your life by taking control your thoughts and your surroundings.

-- Daryl Daughtry